Mistakes and wrongdoing

How do we define what is "wrong"? Furthermore, how do we define morality? Why do we just roll our eyes at some mistakes, while we're crushed by others? Why does there seem to be a set of (sometimes unspoken) rules that govern what is "right"?

We all make mistakes. On the one hand, there are mistakes that don't really matter. We forgot to bring an umbrella. We couldn't execute that sonata perfectly. Whatever. There are some things where we expect perfection of ourselves. We expect that we should be able to do it flawlessly, but we know that we can never get it right 100% of the time, because that's just the limit of control we have over our actions.

On the other hand, some mistakes have the ability to rip us apart. Like unfaithfulness in a marriage. Obviously.

Obviously? I don't think so. It's obvious when we say it like that. Stealing is bad. Lying is bad. Killing is bad. It's obvious that certain mistakes are "bad" when we state it on its own. If a speaker we up the front saying something like that, this would be the appropriate time for us, and everyone around us to agree and nod sagely.

How do we define "bad"? Mostly, we go by consensus- "If the rest of the world would disapprove, then it's bad". In the most extreme cases, we judge how big a mistake we have made based on how we might be punished in a court of law. But who makes a decision in the court of law? A judge (a person), based on what the rest of society (people) think. What if people changed their minds over time... as they have?

When we start judging an act against how would be treated for it, I think we've missed the point. Our lives start becoming about our actions. Yes, life is made up of actions, and we choose them carefully, but I find it impossible to achieve satisfaction in actions (...coming from a girl who studies with all that she has to get the best marks she can). No matter how much I do, I can't feel successful unless my heart is in it.

Back to mistakes. Stealing is bad. Lying is bad. Killing is bad. The 10 Commandments say so. Yay, more rules. This time, bad is put forward as something that God says is bad. And if God says it is, it must be. It is authoritative and therefore must be followed (otherwise we will all be rejected and commanded by God to burn in hell).

Again, I think we've missed the point. When we start reading the 10 Commandments as rules of what we must not do, our purpose becomes to stay away from those actions. Which is not a bad goal, except that that's just not the point. Our lives should not revolve around the actions we should and should not do, and therefore the actions that we choose to do and not to do. Actions are a result of thoughts and values, and all those things we cannot see except by actions. Sometimes, different thoughts and beliefs can lead to the same actions, but can leave us with completely different aftertastes.

Example 1, where life is about staying away from actions that are "bad". We are so focused on actions that we do not consider our thoughts, but the process happens anyway.

Thought: Stealing is bad. Society/God says it is bad, and therefore that is the measure by which I will be judged. I will be resented for my actions, and therefore I will not steal.

In this situation, I would feel... restrained. Disregarding whether or not we want to judge the action of stealing as bad, I would feel that I wasn't allowed to do what I really wanted to do, and there would be bitterness and anger at those who didn't allow me to get what I wanted, bubbling below the surface.

Example 2, where we understand that actions are a result of our thoughts and values.

Thought: People value their possessions. I value my possessions. If someone stole something that I valued, I would be heartbroken. Therefore I will not steal.

I come away from the situation at peace, even though I probably wouldn't even think twice about what happened.

When we start to think like this, we start to consider the heart. The heart is something so precious within each of us. Each mistake or wrongdoing costs someone. When I steal from you, it costs you that possession. When I lie to you (yes, even white lies), it costs me the trust between us. I want my actions not to hurt your hearts, and to do this I need to use my own heart, because thoughts lead to actions, and at the end of the day, thoughts are values are that which we hold close to us, and we need to use our hearts to believe them strongly.

God understands people's hearts. He values them, and it pains him to see us trashing others. And so he judges wrongdoing against how much it damages each of our hearts and the hearts of the people around us. We don't live by rules that govern what we do, we live by holding each other in the highest regard and protecting their hearts, and aligning our thoughts and actions accordingly. He doesn't want us to pay for our wrongdoings- He wants us to realise His wisdom.

Let me finish by explaining my point above about achieving satisfaction through actions only when your heart is in it. I study hard, I don't think that surprises anybody. But as much as I do, I cannot do the action of studying simply for the sake of it. The heart that goes along with it is the will to do everything I can with the intellect that I have been given, so that I can honour the giver. When I do, whether or not I achieve the grades I want to- although the blessing usually comes in the form of good marks- I am satisfied. I cannot do anything (well) unless all of me is in it.